ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
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Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
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You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
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