bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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