So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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