Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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