I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
