There is no way he is gay with that hair.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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