Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
