i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
