Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
