I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
