umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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