I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
