I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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