dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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