Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
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