textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize