WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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