so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
