I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
