Whod you bang
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
they're like a gay fantastic four
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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