I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
