I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
