If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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