He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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