im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
