If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
