you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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