the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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