We're facebook friends in real life
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
