It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize
