Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
