I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
