Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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