hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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