Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
