Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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