She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
