Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
