can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
