why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
