Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy sore nipples Batman
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
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