Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
And the cops told us we were all naked.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
