just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
