I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
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