Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize