you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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