Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
