Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
