chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
