I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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