If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
