Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
