i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
