Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
