Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
