never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
