I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
