Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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