And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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