He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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