one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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