Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
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