white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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